Home Run Derby Tomorrow
It’s Friday and the day is winding down. My day has been going good so I thought I would ruin Shaun Paul and Zack Padge’s. I let them both know about the Home Run Derby Contest that I am throwing in Pearland tomorrow afternoon around 3:30. Since including those two is like inviting two 10 year olds to compete with Barry Bonds (during the juice era of his career), I would like to extend the invitation to any other “warning track power” has-beens out there. Here is my short list of candidates:
- Darren Poutra - you never were a home run hitter and never will be. You could join us and admire those who can.
- Tyler Bearden - after the first swing and consequential pulled hammy, you could enjoy the beer for the rest of the day.
- Billy Ford - you forgot what a baseball bat feels like. Maybe we can let you swing with a golf club and tee them up for you from 2nd base.
- Matt Schultea - we’ll just have Chachi pitch to you and everyone can take a break from shagging to count the strikeouts.
- Chad Kemp - unfortunately the derby will not be held in your backyard which should cancel out your attendance. Maybe next time she’ll let you come.
- David Hinds - remember in little league when that one hit you had all year was a home run. You showed promise for home run derby but unfortunately we don’t pay $100 bills for each home run. Btw, Lauren beat you in home run derby last week at the lake.
- Chris Benoit - take a seat meat. This isn’t Nintendo.
- Beau Hale - it’s called Home Run Derby. We’ll like for you to come pitch so we can count on as many home runs as possible.
- Brooks Richard - you have never hit a home run in your life. Nothing is going to change now.
Feel free to defend yourself in the comments section and add other candidates to HRD for tomorrow.
July 11th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
My money is on Seago. If he puts his weight into it tomorrow, we are all in trouble.
July 11th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Snakes are you kidding me! You don’t have a chance against all those great athletes unless you are playing at LCM where you got your couple in 99′. Those ball you hit out traveled a distance of 245 feet opposite field. NO CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got my money on the real athlete D.P.(AKA Best S.S. in LCM History) the class of 88′ or something like that.
July 11th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Will Zack still have that cast on his foot that was diagnosed as a weight fracture?
Anyone that saw me wear out Schultea’s lot should know that you are only there to see greatness in action.
I’ve got a few spots lined out for us so far.
July 12th, 2008 at 10:22 am
I just sent this message by text to Chris Benoit:
No comment Nintendo boy?
His response:
It’s not necessary. U forget out of all of those candidates except maybe B. Ford, I’m the only one with natural power. Not worth my time.
July 13th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Yesterday was a good day for me. I was successful at the following:
- Winning HRD. We all knew I would
- Winning the 40 yard dash
- Proving I still had it at second base and turning 2 like I’ve been playing for the past 10 years.
- Overcooking the steaks
- Spitting out every answer to buzz word.
July 14th, 2008 at 8:45 am
The sultan of swat! The king of crash! The colossus of clout! THE GREAT BAMBINO!……YEA, these are just a few nicknames I picked up Saturday at the park. There was some pretty tough competitors, but as I suspected, I was victorious. As for the 40 yrd dash, I admit I am not as fast as I used to be but, Im faster than seago. Thats all that really mattered. Besides, all i need to do is look good when im trotting around the bases. Who needs the 40!
July 14th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
I carried the trophy out of that park. The only thing Z had in his hands was hit gut.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Yea, you did carry that trophy out of the park. Its Ok, I didnt want the one that had “3rd place” on it anyway. By the way, “his” is spelt H-I-S, not H-I-T. Just letting you know for future reference.
July 15th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
You made me go archive on you Z:
This is a comment Z posted way back. I see two errors at a quick glance. How were the tacos on Saturday?
CORNELIUS DEBATER Says:
August 9th, 2007 at 9:03 am
WELL BLAKE, YOU BRING UP A VERY INTERESTING DEBATE. I HAVE KNOWN THESE 2 GENTLEMEN A VERY LONG TIME, AND I COULD SEE VERY EASILY HOW SOMEONE WHO DOESNT KNOW THEM WOULD BE CURIOUS IF THERE WAS EVER ANY ATHLETIC TALENT IN EITHER OF THEM AT ALL. BY JUDGEING THEM ON THERE BODY TYPE NOW ALONE, FOR A STRANGER, IT WOULD BE A MERE TOSS UP.
July 15th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
I think Snakes needs a private forum, for which we can rip all day long.
It sounds like fish stories to me.
July 15th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Nice of you to chime in temptress
July 16th, 2008 at 8:53 am
I don’t usually like to make appearances I am not paid for… but I try.
July 16th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
U wood bring up stuf frome tha past. I is way mor edukaded now. u kneed 2 fine sumting neu 2 ripe about.
July 16th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
and you need to eat less tacos and play more derby
July 16th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Its hard to play derby with a curfew.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Im down to play derby whenever. I started a taco free diet this week. Crusty, the only time you leave your crib is if the tattoo shop is having a “Get 1 tattoo and you get a body piercing free special!” Maybe next time you go, you should get your mouth pierced…….? Pierced shut. : )
July 16th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Oooh, Good one. At least that sounds like the Zach I knew.
July 30th, 2008 at 6:34 pm
well im a little late but i didnt notice a comment from david unless he is big man. and rightfully so he would have hit one.