This weekend is my nephew’s first birthday and coincidentally the same weekend that Billy Ford will get treated like a one year old on the golf course. The “1st Non-Annual Golf Showdown in H-Town where Billy Gets Clowned” will be held in The Woodlands on Sunday morning. For those of you who are non-believers, I have made an illustration for proof:

1. He is not even looking at the target. He is probably daydreaming about kittens and unicorns.
2. Shirt is tucked in so tight, he is cutting off circulation.
3. Butt is getting bigger each year.
4. Remnants of what those calves used to be.
5. Pigeon-toed.

The evidence is clear. There is really no point in even playing. Tilley, I am sorry but you will be just an innocent bystander that becomes collateral damage. Besides….when David Hinds is on your team in an athletic competition….Tiger Woods doesn’t stand a chance…

Today was fun because of the release of the .me domain names. I had meetings in College Station early this morning otherwise the Gold Rush would have started sooner. I arrived late to the domain buying party and had to call in some friends for help. For all of you big brains out there who don’t understand what I am referring to…it is pretty simple. All of the good .com web addresses have been bought and sold over and over way beyond the initial $9-30 they originally cost. With the release of the .me domain today, there is an opportunity to make a little profit by buying and selling the right domain name.
I called on Darren Poutra, Tommy Jack Thompson and Zach Padgett today to come up with their best domains relating to their industry and here is what was purchased:

Zach Padgett
implantsfor.me
hospitalsfor.me
ahealthy.me

Darren Poutra
justicefor.me
legalfor.me

Tommy Jack Thompson
makefunof.me

Blake The Snake
comeget.me
youdesignit.me (had to buy because I own all the others)

Business.com sold for $7 million and sex.com sold for $14 million. Ours won’t come close to those numbers but I think we might turn a dollar on some of these. Who do you think has the best .me domain(s)?

*Disclaimer - just when you think you are clever enough to come up with a good one, there is a 98% chance that it has already been purchased. Also, any domain with more than two words before the .me is virtually worthless.

It’s Friday and the day is winding down. My day has been going good so I thought I would ruin Shaun Paul and Zack Padge’s. I let them both know about the Home Run Derby Contest that I am throwing in Pearland tomorrow afternoon around 3:30. Since including those two is like inviting two 10 year olds to compete with Barry Bonds (during the juice era of his career), I would like to extend the invitation to any other “warning track power” has-beens out there. Here is my short list of candidates:

• Darren Poutra - you never were a home run hitter and never will be. You could join us and admire those who can.
• Tyler Bearden - after the first swing and consequential pulled hammy, you could enjoy the beer for the rest of the day.
• Billy Ford - you forgot what a baseball bat feels like. Maybe we can let you swing with a golf club and tee them up for you from 2nd base.
• Matt Schultea - we’ll just have Chachi pitch to you and everyone can take a break from shagging to count the strikeouts.
• Chad Kemp - unfortunately the derby will not be held in your backyard which should cancel out your attendance. Maybe next time she’ll let you come.
• David Hinds - remember in little league when that one hit you had all year was a home run. You showed promise for home run derby but unfortunately we don’t pay $100 bills for each home run. Btw, Lauren beat you in home run derby last week at the lake.
• Chris Benoit - take a seat meat. This isn’t Nintendo.
• Beau Hale - it’s called Home Run Derby. We’ll like for you to come pitch so we can count on as many home runs as possible.
• Brooks Richard - you have never hit a home run in your life. Nothing is going to change now.

Feel free to defend yourself in the comments section and add other candidates to HRD for tomorrow.

I really haven’t had much to say lately. So my mom used to always say when I was a kid….if you don’t have anything nice to say, then advertise on your blog:

Get custom printed t-shirts at You Design It.

*If any of you clowns have something funny to say about this in the comment section, be my guest. You will be the feature of my next blog post.